Chapter 1, the white screen

Hi again everyone

So, exams are still happening. And believe me I wanted to post last week, but I just couldn’t really. I actually need to get some writing done to post things here :P. I said that I was going to design my world as a first, but I’ve noticed that writing the first chapter has changed my thoughts about the world in many ways. So I’m first going to complete that. For the moment I have about 4 pages, which is nothing I know. But I’ve finally found a way of writing which I’m comfortable with, and feel good about. Which is very hard for me. Perfectionism isn’t really something I care about normally, but my writing seems to be the odd thing out here.

I think I’ve deleted about 10 000 words already. Thinking this won’t cut it, this won’t cut it at all. Seems that was largely the fault of trying to force myself to write in the first person. Because things felt awkward and I wasn’t feeling the things I was writing, I rewrote them in the third person limited. The effect that had was amazing. I smiled at that realisation. The scene flowed more natural, and some of the plot devices I’ve had in my head will work a lot better in this narrative too. It allows me to describe my main character more. And that’s awesome, since he’s kind of a complicated guy.

Now that I’m speaking of characters, I’ve come to a weird conclusion when writing some of there characteristics. The more I thought about it, the clearer it became. Those people, are actually fragments of my self. In some way, not literally of course. The main character for example, is a wise nose. But he’s also very dedicated to this grand plan of life he has made for himself. That is something that I have never been able to do. Dedicating myself to something entirely. So he is something of a, wish? Or more like a what if situation for myself. What if I was like that? How would my life look right now? Those are questions I’ve been asking myself lately, which is funny, because I normally don’t question myself like that. For the record, I completely hate the main character. Really, if I had to talk to someone like him, I’d probably be irritated in like 5 minutes. If he’d want to talk to me that long of course :P.

I’ve read somewhere that once you’ve defined a character somewhat, they start talking to you. And in doing so, define themselves so much further. At first, I thought this was absolutely ridiculous. I mean, people that here voices in their head, are mostly seen as crazy right? But apparently that’s normal, they do actually talk to you. When thinking about dialogue, they tend to answer lines thrown at them on their own. Certain reactions to certain situations just play out by themselves in my head. It’s actually kind of awesome. That way I’m sure it has a natural flow and feeling to it. I’m always scared that the story will look completely fabricated and that it’ll have no shred of feeling to it. I’m not a “feeling” person so that fear is very real for me.

On the note of feelings. I’ve started to develop some kind of use when watching movies or reading books. I analyse everything now, pondering about the emotions that are portrayed there. This is something I’ve never done before. For example, when I watched the last Harry Potter in the cinema. When I got out of the theatre, I overheard 2 girls talking about how they cried their eyes out when Snape died (I hope I haven’t ruined anyone’s day with this spoiler). They also said that anyone who didn’t cry was clearly a robot. Well, seems I’m a robot. And I’m afraid my emotion AI is a bit broken too. But I’m fixing it apparently. Which can only be a good!

Thanks for reading! And see you next time đŸ™‚



Filed under Writing diary

2 responses to “Chapter 1, the white screen

  1. Editing our own work can be the devil!

    • I can imagine. Just writing what you think and plan those big outlines on paper can be hard, but when you know what you want to write it’s easier. Actually molding those lines into something other people would want to read, must be a real devil :).

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